The Missing Rink

Sandpiper ( seeing the mystical light )

 

 

         The Missing Rink

 

I discovered it a few years ago on one of my annual visits back to the East Coast. It was sitting quietly on top of an old dresser, up in the attic of my Aunt Mildred's house on the Jersey shore. I hadn't even thought about it in years, but now, suddenly, there it was - the old metal case that used to house my roller skates.

Silver, with red and black trim, and a red plastic handle. I had given it more of a customized look by spelling out the name "STEVE" in large gold decal letters, running diagonally across the front. As a final artistic touch, I had added two, maroon and white, stickers of flying roller skates from The Fordham Skating Palace. The winged skates suggested a much greater skating speed than I had ever managed to reach, and stickers of ripped pants, creative falls, and floor burns would probably have been a little closer to truth.

      Luckily for me, I had no professional ambitions as a roller skater. It was just something I did for fun on Saturday afternoons. Even with that, I'm actually a little surprised that I stuck with it for as long as I did, since, obviously it wasn't my thing. Even after years of practice, I was still never able to develop anything much in the way of a skating repertoire. My greatest accomplishment, in fact, probably came when I mastered the art of skating backwards tentatively. I probably looked about as relaxed and flexible as Frankenstein did when he got off the table for the very first time and was asked to skate backwards. Part of the problem was that I could never really develop the knack of glancing over my shoulder to be able to see where I was going. As a result, I found myself constantly bracing for a fall. I was always afraid of being surprised by a stray piece of chewing gum or a sticky puddle of Coke, and both were pretty realistic possibilities at The Fordham Skating Palace.

Although I didn't really appreciate it at the time, learning how to skate backwards probably helped me to learn some really valuable lessons about life. First and foremost, of course, I learned never to throw gum on wooden floors, and, as a rule of life, this has always

served me well. More importantly, I learned a little something about hurtling myself backwards into the great unknown, and this would

prove to be excellent training for my later work as a psychotherapist. As a matter of fact, it almost qualified as my job description.

Putting aside my flashbacks for the moment, I, excitedly, unlatched the cover and looked inside. The box was filled with stacks of old love letters from my cousin Carol to her future husband, Perry. More importantly, however, the lining was still in remarkably good shape, so, without giving it much thought, I automatically dumped the letters into a cardboard box.  

 As I stood there, insensitively going about my work, I couldn't help being struck by the timing of it all. Only just recently I had been feeling a strong need for some tangible links with my past, and now, suddenly, out of the blue, my old metal skate box turns up. And, here was something that was, finally, light enough for me to carry back on the plane. My first bookcase and desk could stay behind in New Jersey, they'd be a little hard to store under my seat.  But the skate box, I decided, would be coming back home with me to San Diego. I needed it as a connection to my roots.

And the skate box was actually in pretty good shape, all things considered. A little scratched and rusted around the edges maybe, but hey, who wasn't? I was even beginning to feel a little scratched and rusted myself. Since l969 I had been working as a psychologist for the "Fighting Aztecs" of San Diego State University, and the job was not without its stressful features. The student body ran about 36,000 strong, give or take a few Aztecs either way, so It wasn't exactly your small liberal arts college. It was, actually, much more like the size of a small city or a very large party, depending on your point of view. At any given moment that could work-out to a lot of beers, a lot of unreturned phone calls, and a lot of broken hearts.

Sometimes, particularly during the peak seasons for human agitation, life would start to look like an endless series of crises, and our office would start to take on the look of an emergency room for the

human spirit.  And things would usually come in bunches for our clients too. Somehow you just knew that after their relationship went

belly-up, that they'd also be having some car trouble in the very near future.

Although most of the time I found the work to be generally fulfilling, sometimes it could really get to me. Like the cop on the beat, or the air traffic controller up in the tower, we all knew that we were paying a price for doing our particular kind of work, we could feel it taking it's physical and emotional toll. But we were hooked on it. Cops need robbers, and, apparently, counselors thrive on clients with problems.

But, sometimes, when things would really start to build-up, I'd really start to wonder where the upside of this business had gone. It could then become a constant challenge just to keep your perspective, and not drown in a sea of negativity. Part of the problem for us, of course, was that there was a major imbalance in terms of what our clients were bringing-in to talk about. There was a tremendous negative surplus of confusion, despair, and anxiety, and little in the way of celebration or positive ritual to balance things off. In some ways, we were almost like clergymen who only got to do funerals, and never any weddings.

Since my students were usually depressed, they rarely popped-in to tell me how great they were feeling about themselves or about how wonderful life could really be. In truth, many of my clients actually felt constantly shortchanged by life. All too often their rewards felt like punishments, and their punishments felt like rewards. It was an easy mistake to make, and one that I was personally very familiar with. Even with all that, I sometimes found myself wishing that we could change the name of our counseling center to "Our Lady Of Perpetual Disappointment."

But, sometimes it was really hard not to get down. These were troublesome times, and rapid change and painful upheaval seemed to be everywhere.  From the global level to the more personal or human level, nobody seemed immune. Even my old metal skate box had to go through a few rough times. Since its liberation from my Aunt Mildred's attic, it had actually been forced to go through a rather difficult mid-life career change of its own. It was now working as a door stop in our old Spanish house on Mount Helix, and probably feeling pretty ambivalent about its new duties. The view is better, but it no longer gets to carry skates.

It now stands quietly in our den, holding-open a double-glazed French door which leads out to our second-story redwood deck. The large L-shaped deck affords a beautiful view of rolling hills, tree tops, and colorful drought-resistant plants, while a slatted overhang provides some welcome relief from the East County sun. Off to the West you can catch a small glimpse of the blue Pacific in the distance, and in the driveway below there stands one of the more picturesque basketball courts that you could ever hope to find. It was a far cry from some of the courts back in New York City, but it wasn't entirely without its dangers. A ball accidentally bouncing over our chain link fence stands a pretty good chance of being punctured by a giant cactus, or even disappearing completely into the bulrushes across the road.

The whole scene gives us the welcome illusion of country living, even if it might, technically, be more like the suburbs. But there are no sidewalks here, only some narrow winding roads, and we don't have sewers yet, just septic systems. There's even a little wildlife to be found that you wouldn't necessarily associate with a suburban habitat. We have plenty of birds, everything from hummingbirds to hawks, and there's no shortage of lizards either. In some sort of low-budget Darwinian festival, the slowest of them are systematically weeded-out by the cats who stalk them around our yard. And, the cats are kind of amazing in their own right. Somehow, through some unexplained, mysterious process, they are able to intuitively sense that we humans love to receive decapitated lizards as presents.

And there's a lot of other action around the neighborhood. Some of our neighbors raise bees, and we seem to be raising ants, although not intentionally.  During the hot, dry, Santa Anas they  invade our house in their desperate search for water. Seeing giant black swaths moving into my kitchen propels me into a desperate search of my own -

a search for Diazanon spray. It goes against my nature to have to resort to chemical warfare, but these ants don't seem to want to play it any other way. Sometimes I try leaving them a little drinking water outside the house, but it never seems to work.

Even if the whole scene might be somewhat of an illusion, it's still a very attractive and comforting one to us. There's been a steady stream of people just like us who have also been discovering "America's Finest City", and things are changing rapidly. Refugees from crowds, corruption, crime, and cold have been finding their way into San Diego County, and Paradise has long since stopped looking like Paradise. It's getting a lot more congested, and our traffic and smog are becoming very major league in their own right. So, given all this, it was nice to have a low density neighborhood to offer us some protection from these constant reminders of rampant growth and encroaching development.

So, at least for the time being, we still had a little space and serenity, and we appreciated it. My wife, and I had both come from humble beginnings as apartment dwellers in the Bronx, and it helped that we were still able to remember what that had been like. As I sat in my den, glancing over at my old skate box, I couldn't help reflecting back on how we had actually wound-up here. In retrospect, our journey from the Bronx to this wildlife sanctuary in the Great American Southwest had involved a lot more for us than just a move or a physical relocation. Clearly, it had been a personal and spiritual journey as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Early Memories

 

The story actually begins only a few short blocks from the very same Fordham Skating Palace that had supplied the stickers of the flying roller skates. It was l942, the year of my birth.

In many ways the Bronx was really an insane place to grow-up, but fortunately we didn't have anything normal to compare it with. As a result, we found it to be quite wonderful in its own way. The view from our fourth floor apartment at 240l Davidson Avenue was a little different than the view from the redwood deck in Mount Helix. For one thing, it was a much longer way down to the street below. For another, there was precious little in the way of soothing greenery. The closest beach was Tar Beach - up on the roof.

Although we didn't get to see any cats stalking lizards, the view from 2401 still had its own share of action and high drama. There were stickball games, squealing brakes, people screaming, sirens blaring, and the constant backdrop of horns, traffic, and trains. It was an environment of concrete, metal, and noise. There was little in the way of softness, an aloe would not have survived. 

I spent a lot of time looking-out on this festival of sight and sound; contemplating it all. I remember being impressed, almost astonished, at how everyone was getting-on with the business of life; how they all seemed to know just what to do. Under the circumstances, they seemed to have a surprisingly clear sense of purpose. Like drones in the hive of life, all the players seemed to know their roles. They all seemed to know the ropes and the routines.

But, as for me, I remember feeling very perplexed about the whole thing. I just didn't really get it, and a growing uneasiness seemed to be settling-in rather early in life. Almost as soon as I could think, I probably began to question it all. How come they all know what to do with themselves? How do they know what this is all about? Instead of sitting in my high chair, and quietly eating my mashed carrots, I, apparently, thought it was important to reflect-on the death-denying quality of much of contemporary American life.

 Other than being an incredibly deep, and existentially-savvy newborn, like most babies, I think I also must have been cute. I remember my extreme self-consciousness when people would make a fuss over me, and how very ill at ease I felt from all the kvelling and cheek-pinching. Flashbulbs going-off in my eyes startled me. I felt a little like King Kong - dragged into the city, taken far away from my natural habitat, and gawked-at by strangers on the other side of the bars. Some thirty years later I came to realize just how true this really was, and just how much I still wanted to go home.

I had a small collection of stuffed animals in my room, and, for a while, I had some glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. Although I never had a dog or cat in our apartment, at any given time I might be playing host to fish, turtles, parakeets, or even rabbits. Depending on the year, there might also be anything from marbles and baseball cards to stamp collections and chemistry sets. Most of the stock got regularly rotated, but sporting goods and musical instruments were usually in there somewhere.

Like most kids in those days, I also went through my cowboy and Indian stage. The Lone Ranger was one my biggest heroes, and I tried to be just like him, even if they didn't allow horses into our apartment building. I loved the fact that he wore a mask, and did good deeds anonymously. And I loved how he would be heading-off into the sunset just as the townspeople were looking at the silver bullet, and trying to figure out just who that masked man was, anyway.

       My favorite Indian was Straight Arrow. He could usually be found on the cardboard cards separating the layers of Nabisco Shredded Wheat. Straight Arrow always seemed to know amazing things about how to survive in the wilderness, and he could travel through the forest without making a sound. Even if he was walking on dry leaves, nobody could hear him coming. When I would try this myself, it sounded like I was walking on boxes of shredded wheat with microphones in my shoes. Straight Arrow was also the ultimate wilderness handyman. With only a few twigs and rocks he would, somehow, be able to construct an entire Indian village and feed it for a year. I envied his

uncanny ability to  find wooden sticks that were just the right length, and had notches in just the right places.

Straight Arrow may also have been the one who inspired us to get into archery. My friends and loved to go into the woods and shoot our bows and arrows. And once there, we didn't always bother to use traditional targets either. Sometimes when we were a little bored we might shoot an arrow into the air, straight-up, directly above our heads. It would completely disappear into the sky so we'd have to stay alert and try to spot it before it pierced our skulls or blinded us. It sure was a great way to get the old adrenaline going, and was probably great preparation for the hazards of dating.

There was really so much for us to do growing-up in New York City that it was truly amazing. Even as kids we had easy access to movies, museums, the zoo, and even to foreign consulates. Sometimes we would make the rounds and collect packets of free literature on each country. We could also take in a stamp show, coin show, boat show, automobile show, or even a polo match if we wanted to. And there were always the pro's - The Yankees, Giants, and Knicks were all there for us to watch, and we weren't dependent on the automobile to get there. A fifteen cent subway ride could get us just about anywhere we needed to go.

Converse Allstars were my favorite sneakers. One of the regular highlights of my childhood came when we would head over to the local sporting goods store on the Grand Concourse to buy a new pair of Allstars. We had a choice of white or black in canvas or canvas. For that customized look you could add a pair of colored laces, and there was sometimes tremendous anguish on deciding on a color.

The white Allstars looked a lot better, but it was pretty hard to keep them that way. It was always open-season on any new pair of white footwear, so, if you chose them, you'd have to be constantly on your guard. The biggest targets, of course, were any new pair of white bucks. Show  up in some and be prepared to run for your life if you didn't want them covered with black stomp-marks. In those days they even sold little bags of rub-on chalk powder to hide the marks and blemishes on your wounded bucks, and they sold a lot of them.

But, even if your friends did try to step all over them, it was still nice to get a new pair of sneakers or shoes. I, actually, felt very lucky just to have them.  These days it seems to take a lot more than that to do the trick. It's not like we were feeling poor or deprived in any major way. We actually thought of ourselves as middle-class in those days, much as we still do now. But in those days we would compare ourselves to the less fortunate ones, on the bottom of the scale. And, compared to the people in Harlem or Puerto Rico, we knew we had it pretty good.

Now, of course, I can still manage to feel deprived even while owning three cars and living in a mini-hacienda. Now, for some reason, I tend to envy people who can travel at will, even though I really don't enjoy traveling all that much, and, at the moment, there's no place in  particular that I really want to go. I guess it was a lot nicer, and a lot cheaper, when all it took was a new pair of sneakers to make your day. It appears as though the secrets of human satisfaction are still a bit elusive to most of us. No matter what we have, somehow, we always seem to want more.

But, I digress. Turning back to the Converse Allstars for a minute, once we got them we didn't just sit around worrying about getting them scuffed-up or dirty. We used them, and we used them for just about every kind of sport imaginable. .

As younger kids, we'd usually start-out with your basic rubber ball, the classic pink "Spaldeen", and we'd get a surprising amount of mileage out of it. It could be used in your room, in the hallways of your apartment building, out on the sidewalks, stoops and curbs in front of your house, and down by the handball courts, schoolyard and parks. We played everything with it from "hit the penny" to stoopball and stickball.

 My baseball interests died in junior high school, I remember the exact day. My friend Victor and I had gone up to the school yard to hit a baseball around. I lofted a fly ball out to him, and he pretended, I thought, to lose it in the sun. Always the joker, Victor dropped to the ground grabbing his face. After a minute I realized he wasn't joking, and that he had actually caught the ball with his nose which was now broken and rapidly losing a lot of blood.

After Victor's nose healed we decided to stick with bike riding for a while. We enjoyed taking day trips on our 3-speed English Racers. In the morning we'd buy a roast beef hero from the local German delicatessen, and head North into Westchester County. One of our most memorable rides came on the opening day for the Tappan Zee bridge. Like the George Washington, it spanned the Hudson River, but a little further to the North. As part of the grand opening celebration, they had reserved the first day for pedestrians and cyclists, and, without traffic to worry about, it made for a beautiful day.

Sometimes we'd get up early and take a ride up to the cemetery in Tarreytown, the scene of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow." We'd ride up and down through the cemetery, and try to terrify each other with sightings of the Headless Horseman. And it didn't, actually, take all that much to terrify us. We were already quite paranoid about being unwelcome visitors from the Bronx. The Westchester County residents wanted their parks for their own kids, and weren't looking for any more new recruits from New York City. They had already fled.

But, let's face it, if you had to associate one sport with New York City, it probably wouldn't be archery or bike riding. You'd probably come-up with basketball, and you'd probably be right. I became totally hooked-on the game while I was still a short and stubby kid back at P.S. 33.  In those days, I remember what an accomplishment it was just to be able to get the ball up near the rim. It was a lot closer to a classic "fling" than to a shot.

I practiced constantly, and the game, eventually, became the major focus for my energies, and a great outlet for blowing-off a little steam. At a simple level, the game gave me a much-welcomed feeling that I was actually good at something; that I had a special skill that I could call my own. I, also, grew to love the artistic or creative dimension of the game  that involved things like intuition and teamwork. Over time, this facet of the game became totally intriguing to me.

       Although basketball may have been a great game, it wasn't always easy getting a court, particularly when you were younger and smaller. If I got there early enough, or if the weather was miserable enough, I might get lucky and find a free basket to practice on. But, once the bigger kids came out, your basketball career would have to be put on hold for a while. They usually kicked you right off the court without even thinking twice about it. You and your basketball were a minor annoyance to them, and they, basically, just treated you like you didn't exist. They'd just begin playing, and assume that you would be clearing-out momentarily. Depending on their mood, of course, they might also just fling your ball over the fence into heavy traffic. It was really nothing personal, just a little jungle etiquette in action.  Every once in a while, though, you might get lucky. If they were short-handed enough, they might, actually, let you play with them until one of the elite arrived. It was always a good idea to try to make the most of the opportunity.

Years later, after moving out to San Diego, I could never quite get used to seeing all those beautiful schoolyards with all those empty basketball courts. Perfect weather but no basketball players. And, nobody seemed to be having all that much fun either, in basketball or in anything else. All the sports in suburbia seemed to be organized into leagues by adults who wore high white socks, and emphasized things like healthy competition and sportsmanship. To me, it’s always seemed like this adult-organizational overlay took the fun right out of it.

Besides basketball, music was my other main outlet as I was growing up. I studied the accordion for a number of years and became fairly proficient at it. This would have been great if I had been living in Poland, but, unfortunately, my accordion talents were peaking just as Rock and Roll was beginning to hit the scene in our country. Almost overnight, the accordion was rendered into one of the most uncool instruments imaginable. If you wanted to clear-out a room all you had to do now was threaten to play "Lady of Spain."

Not wanting to live as a social leper, I quickly switched to the guitar, and took lessons from a fellow named Ronnie Lee, A.K.A. Ronald Leventhal. He was a terrific guitarist and an excellent teacher, but after a year or two I was getting tired of playing the pop and classical pieces that he had been teaching me. So I bought a solid-body electric, and spent countless hours playing along with records and tapes in my room. I spent a lot of time playing along with people like Buddy Holly, The Everly Brothers, Little Richard, and Jerry Lee Lewis. 

Speaking of Rock and Roll, some of my greatest boyhood memories came in catching some of those classic acts at the early rock and roll shows put on by Alan Freed and Murray the K. My friends and I would get up in the middle of the night, and hop a subway into Manhattan or Brooklyn, so we could wait on line for hours just to get in. Crowd control was a big problem at these events, and things could get a little hairy. The fans were supposed to have fun, but not get too wild, and you never knew where the line was going to be drawn.  There was always an air of underlying tension, and we always seemed to be bracing ourselves for a riot. The fans were unpredictable and the police were always capable of making it even worse.

 Speaking of tensions and conflicts, sometimes it was hard not to notice some of the other ones that always seemed to be simmering just below the surface. Just growing-up watching the local news in New York made for a stiff inoculation against what would later be broadcast every evening during the Vietnam War and the rest of the turbulent 60's. Absurd and often tragic events often managed to stand-out against the constant backdrop of ever-present crime and corruption.

At the neighborhood level, these conflicts and tensions were often aggravated by bullies or other key players, who had been significantly tweaked by life. Some of them had a somewhat perverted sense of curiosity. One kid in my high school was experimenting with tossing burning objects from his roof when he accidentally set a little old lady on fire. Gravity had already been discovered, so I'm really not sure what he was trying to prove. I’m pretty sure that he never experienced any legal consequences for this act, but he did come out of it with a great nickname - "The Torch." In New York City, it didn't seem to matter what you did or how you did it as long as you, somehow, managed to stand-out from the crowd, and make a name for yourself.

       And then there were others who managed to draw a crowd even if it really took a bit of doing. Occasionally, it might even come in the form of suicide. Once, while we were on our way to school one morning, we came upon the police just as they had finished placing blankets around a major intersection under the tracks of an elevated train. We were afraid to find-out what was happening, but, as it turned out, the blankets were all covering the widely scattered parts of an unfortunate soul who had just been splattered by a train. Even more horrifying was my experience as a young child while I was waiting for a subway train with my mother. As people inched-up to position themselves for the doors, the man next to me did a sudden swan dive into heavy metal and steel wheels.

Not everything was that dramatic, of course, but even the little stuff tended to add up. There seemed to be no shortage of people hassling you over one thing or another. Pasadena may have had its Rose Bowl Parade, but New York had one of its own, and it featured an endless procession of the anxious and the agitated. Life could get hard here and it showed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Brown

 

Luckily, however, everything wasn't always this grim and tense. New York also had its share of local color and charm. How could you possibly beat, for example, the cross-section of fans that might show-up at The Garden or Yankee Stadium? And, how could you possibly capture the classic style of the average waiter in a New York deli? These things really needed to be experienced first hand!

One of my earliest Madison Square Garden memories involved a professional basketball doubleheader, featuring the entire Eastern Division of the N.B.A. This might also tell you something about just how long ago that may have been. Anyway, it drew a crowd that was like something out of "Ben Hur", and probably about as polite. While my friend Stuart and I were waiting in front of the box office, I found myself, literally, getting carried away by the crowd. There was absolutely nothing that I could do, so I just let it carry me towards the subway entrance, and an uptown train heading back home.  "Stuuuuuuuuuu!"

       Plenty of local color could be found at the neighborhood delicatessen.  You could hardly find a bad one, and most would probably qualify as state of the art. Pastrami on club with mustard and coleslaw was always my favorite, topped-off with a Dr. Brown's Cream Soda and a knish. The waiters, with their black shoes and smartly contrasting white socks always added nicely to the ambiance. The rest of the outfit consisted of a small hand towel draped over the arm, and a very unthrilled look on the face. If any of these waiters had ever said something like, "Have a nice day," you'd wonder if they had a fever.

And, speaking of unthrilled looks, I was no stranger to giving them myself. Like many others, I too had my share of unglamorous jobs, and was probably a lot less gracious in them than the average deli waiter. For a while I had an after-school job as a stock boy in the local Daitch supermarket. For a while, at least, it was kind of exciting to actually be getting a behind the scenes look at any type of operation, but, before too long, unloading boxes of dairy products and canned goods started to lose some of its intrigue. On the other hand, it was good to get a feel for what those kinds of jobs were actually like. People also needed to pay their dues, and the Daitch job certainly helped me to appreciate why people were always telling you to stay in school and get a good job.

Although people who know me find it very hard to believe, I also worked for a time down at Lord and Taylor's in Manhattan. Being a stock boy there gave me a wonderful opportunity to be ordered around by a more refined, and sophisticated class of people than I had encountered at the cheese counter at Daitch. I could also say that working at Lord and Taylor's helped me develop the keen fashion sense that I retain to this day, but that would be a complete untruth. In fact, The Good Taste Police often catch me as I'm heading out the door in the morning. I never seem to move fast enough to escape detection by their radar. It's not easy being a fashion fugitive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The View From the Stand

 

My longest-running part-time job was at my grandparents’ newsstand. It was just like the ones you saw in the movies, the only difference was that we didn't give out a lot of tips to private detectives. Grandpa Herman, my mother's father, was able to get the stand because he was blind, and my Grandma Sarah was there most of the time to help him. For a while their stand was located at a bus stop in a tunnel under Kingsbridge Road. The cold, dampness, noise, and fumes made for a pretty tough way to make a living.

After a number of years in the tunnel, they, eventually, were able to move to another stand which was up at street level in some daylight and fresher air. The new stand was located at the end of the elevated line at 242nd Street and Broadway, across the street from Van Cortlandt Park. They sold a lot of papers to commuters who would come down from Westchester County and catch the train into Manhattan. The elevated trains ran directly overhead.

       Although the green wooden stand sheltered us from the rain and snow, it could still get damp and bitter-cold inside. And it wasn't easy making change or rolling pennies while you were trying to keep your hands warm with fingerless gloves. You had to be fast with your calculations, and fast with your fingers too, and frozen fingers weren't always that nimble. The commuters, in particular, were always in a tremendous hurry. They would all let-off the bus at the same time, and  descend on the stand in a giant shock wave, attacking us with their pennies. They'd grab their papers, and want their change before they even handed us the money.

There were a few other tensions as well. We might be huddled around the heater and suddenly hear the loud screeching of brakes from a truck which was obviously going to crash into us and cripple us for life. While we braced for the impact, a voice would scream out, "News!" And, only then would we realize that it was only the Daily News delivery truck which was already speeding-off into the distance on its never-ending mission of terror. But, although our lives may have been spared this time, we still had to bolt-out the door, and rescue the newly bundles of newspaper from the slush out by the curb. It didn't take long for newspapers to become water-logged, and our customers weren't really into paper mache.

The attacks of the killer delivery trucks were almost unrelenting, and they were always tremendously unsettling. Being on the receiving end had to be the polar opposite of quietly enjoying tea in a Japanese teahouse. But things, somehow, have a way of evening out. For many years my father, who handled used trucks and truck parts, made a lot of money junking old Daily News delivery trucks. The quicker these drivers could destroy them, the better it was for us.

Also helping-out at the stand was Louie, the old Macedonian, who was  about sixteen hundred years my senior, and looked a lot like an aging Kojak. He spoke with a thick Macedonian accent that must have sounded very much like Alexander the Great's, whom, I'm sure, Louie must have known personally. An incredibly hearty fellow with the strength of a much younger man, Louie wouldn't take anything from anybody. If someone short-changed him a penny, he might leap-up from behind the counter and chase after the guy, running up hundreds of stairs while screaming, "Stop, stop you bestit!"

 The stand would quiet down dramatically when it wasn't the rush hour, and during those slack times, working at the stand gave me a great opportunity to catch-up on my reading. We carried just about every newspaper and magazine in town, and eventually there'd be enough time to get to most of them. The stand also provided an incredible observation point for people-watching. And the variety pack of life that passed before us ran the entire gamut, in terms of wealth, achievement, and personality refinement.

       For some strange reason, I found myself becoming particularly intrigued with the successful-looking one's who came down from Westchester County. After studying them closely, I came to the conclusion that they had two major things in common - beige London Fog raincoats, and an uncanny ability to handle The New York Times while using only one hand. As a jostled subway rider you always needed your other hand free to hang-onto a strap or pole, so this was an ability that could be almost vital to your survival as an informed commuter. And this was no tabloid-sized paper that we're talking about here. This was the big one, with stories running through a number of different sections, yet, somehow, they were able to accomplish this feat in a crowded, moving subway car. It was utterly amazing. As good as I became athletically, I was never able to develop the ability to handle The Times even with two hands, and even while seated comfortably at a stationary table. I'd still leave diagonal creases and bent pages, and look terribly unsuave doing it.

       As embarrassing as it may sound, I found myself becoming almost totally obsessed with this London Fog - New York Times combination.  I sensed that there was something terribly significant hidden in this, but the link continued to elude me. And then one day it suddenly dawned on me that I had accidentally broken the code. Somehow, I had managed to stumble upon the two secret qualifying events that would automatically guarantee your admission into the world of success.  I wasn't quite sure where they held the tests, but I became firmly convinced that all they had to do was to show their London Fog, complete the eight compulsory one-handed maneuvers with The New York Times, and they would then be set for life.  They could then go on to meet all the right people, travel in all of the right circles, and be able to walk into places like The New York Athletic Club with total confidence.

  When I wasn't uncovering the secret life of the Westchester commuter, I couldn't help noticing some of the other action around the neighborhood. We had a number of bars on the street, including one right across the way from the stand, so you could get a real education about that segment of society. Watching the unfortunate ones who slobbered and soiled themselves while waiting anxiously for the doors to open for the day, could get pretty depressing.

Other signs of personal and interpersonal neglect could also be seen around the bar. One that really stuck vividly in my mind was the sight of a young father who, on his way to the park with his kids, just stopped in for a quick beer with the guys. He wound-up spending a few hours drinking and socializing while his kids were running out of ways to kill time in the nearby luncheonettes. How many times, I wondered, could this guy come-out and give them some change for a cone or some Italian ices? Of course they shouldn't have any doubts as to how special and loved they really were! It was trauma in the making, and future generations of bartenders, mistresses, and therapists would be hearing all about it.

       Just to make things even more confusing for me, everyone who passed by the stand wasn't neglectful, abusive or even depressing. There were a lot of other people who were friendly, considerate, and basically very nice.  Many of them  were just on their way over to Van Cortlandt Park, and had nothing more shady in mind than a tree. As I pieced things together, it was beginning to look like people were capable of just about anything, from the very worst to the very best, and with all of these apparent contradictions it made it tough to reach any firm conclusions about the human race.

Van Cortlandt Park itself had just about everything you could want, including a golf course, a lake with row boats, a stadium and track, handball and basketball courts, and acres and acres of grassy fields. During the winter, they'd even convert one of the fairways into a small ski slope, and there was always something incongruous about seeing people getting-off the subway with their skis and poles. 

With vivid images of a broken bone poking through one of my pants' legs, I never took advantage of the ski slope, but I did play the golf course at Van Cortlandt whenever I got the chance. It was usually pretty empty during the week, so playing a quick nine holes before or after school wasn't all that difficult. And, it was cheap too. In those days we could buy a golf permit each year, and play on public courses all around the city for just a token fee.

Of course, you had to remember that this was still New York City, so playing golf at Van Cortlandt wasn't exactly like playing at Pebble Beach or St. Andrews. Among other things, some of the golfing etiquette could be a little different. All over the world, for example, if you needed to alert another golfer in front of you, all you had to do would be to yell, "Fore!"  But, in New York they were a lot more creative than that. Someone might just whistle a ball right past your ear and smile at you as you figured-out just how close you had just come to the Great Last Hole of Life.

 

 

 

De Witt C.

 

De Witt Clinton High School was just on the other side of Van Cortlandt Park. It was a large, all-boys school, with a lot of middle or lower class kids from the Bronx, mixed in with a fair number of poor black kids who rode the train up from Harlem. Word had it that they felt a lot safer at Clinton than they felt at their own neighborhood schools down in Harlem. It may have been safer, but many of them still thought it was a good idea to keep their money in a shoe. 

The whole atmosphere at Clinton was very much like that of a locker room. The guys tended to be a bit crude and adolescent. Being separated from girls, we really didn't know quite what to make of them. At times there may even have been a tendency to see them more as objects rather than as persons. When actually encountering a girl out in public, the typical Clinton guy could usually draw from a repertoire that included gawking, grunting, or showing-off, depending on their particular level of pathology or social retardation. And, sometimes they might even take it a step further.  Although it wasn't my particular style, manliness could also be displayed by trapping girls on the train and making them miss their stop. Clinton guys thought that life really couldn't get much better than this, and they ranked it right up there with bullying our nerdy neighbors from The Bronx High School of Science.

But, despite some of the animal antics, De Witt Clinton really wasn't such a bad place to go to school.  Although it was easy to forget, many of the other city schools were, in fact, even rougher, and the education at Clinton was first rate. We had a number of truly excellent teachers, quite a few highly-motivated students, and a lot of guys who were, basically, pretty nice, unless of course, you were being trapped on a train by one of them. Many of our graduates went on to fame and fortune, including people like Burt Lancaster, Robert Klein, Nate Archibald, and "The Torch".

Clinton was probably best-known as a perennial hotbed of great basketball talent. Year after year we would really crank-out the great ballplayers. A number of them went on to the pros, but all too many of them never even made it into college. They would have their brief moment of glory and then wind-up pushing a broom at Peerless Camera.

As for me, I had been practicing like crazy ever since I had taken-up the game in grade school, so in my sophomore year I decided to go- out for the team. But, height, among other things, was a bit of a problem. A few years later a growth spurt would bring me up to 6'2", but in my sophomore year of high school I was a lot closer to 5'2". I was every coach's dream - slow, white, and short. I was the kind of kid that announcers liked to refer to as an "intelligent" player, meaning that I had all of the necessary physical tools to become an owner.

The Clinton try-out consisted of a series of full-court games. Each game was supposed to be five minutes long, but the clock seemed to be running a lot faster than that. Every few games a player might catch the coach's eye for a more extended look. But, for the other ninety nine percent of us, it was "hasta luego." I don't think I touched the ball more than once during my five minute do-or-die scrimmage. I remember watching one kid dribbling the ball endlessly in circles for no apparent reason as precious seconds were ticking away on the clock. I found myself wishing for an elephant gun.

The coach probably had the best talent in the city to choose from, but I still managed to feel rejected and ripped-off when he didn't want me. My ego was crushed as my dreams of glory vanished in five short, humbling minutes. But, I was surprisingly resilient, and quickly regained my perspective. Realistically, I had to admit that I came up a little short in size and ability, and the coach had, actually, made the right decision.

       If I couldn't be Mr. Basketball I decided that I might as well fall-back on my second glamour career - sports reporting. Like most of my friends, I followed the world of sports very closely, reading the sports section in The Post every afternoon, and listening faithfully to Howard Cosell on the radio. Following in these traditions, my friend Stuart and I, long since reunited after our forced separation in front of The Garden, teamed up as cub reporters for the Clinton News. We wound-up covering football and basketball, but, unfortunately, we found ourselves forced to write in a style that may have been journalistically correct, but was also incredibly sterile and uncreative. I guess we were supposed to come-up with something that looked like a news release on one of the major wire services, and, we routinely did just that. Eventually, we perfected our journalistic talents to the point where we were able to make an exciting game sound dull.

 But the glamour of traveling with the team and being part of the De Witt Clinton sports scene really made it all worthwhile. There were many treasured moments for us, both home and away. Football games were always the most exciting, probably because they always had the greatest potential for a large-scale riot. For show and tell, our students would sometimes see who could come back with the largest knifed-off piece of an opposing school's jacket. 

Basketball games had a similar potential for volatility, but they were contained in a much smaller area. So, for the reporter or spectator, it became a question of personal preference. Would you rather get crushed to death on a football field, or have your head smashed-in in a gymnasium?  Sometimes it was hard to decide.

On the whole, Stu and I came to prefer the gym. The games were great, and the team had more than its share of interesting characters. The relationship between the players and the coach was also pretty interesting, and it gave us a lot to not write about. At that particular time in Clinton's basketball history, the players were, basically, in the driver's seat, and they knew it. Needless to say, it made things a little difficult for the coach. Luckily for him, he really didn't need to do all that much coaching. With the talent he had, he could, basically, just send them out in groups of five, and they would usually destroy everything in their path.

But, every so often, the coach would get fed-up with the lack of respect he was getting from his players, and he'd try to take more of a strong-handed approach with his team. On one memorable occasion, Charlie, one of his star players had shown-up late for the game, and the coach had finally had it with Charlie's irritating habits. This time, he decided, he  was, finally, going to put his foot down, and show them who was really the boss. So, just before game time, the coach announced to the team that he was benching Charlie for the entire game for disciplinary reasons. The team responded  with - "Charlie don't play, we don't play man!"  Charlie played.

       The team probably wondered why the coach was making such a big deal out of it. Maybe Charlie wasn't your classic scholar/athlete, but why single him out?  Sure, he could be a little irresponsible at times, or perhaps even menacing, but he also had his arrogant and pugnacious side as well.  Sometimes, in fact, when he would get tired of picking-on people, Charlie enjoyed throwing liquor bottles out of moving trains, and he wasn't always that particular about whether or not the windows were open either. His aptitude tests may have shown that he had terrific potential as a felon, but, while he was with us at Clinton, Charlie was the chief enforcer on one very fine high school basketball team. Just ask the guys from Music and Art.

Their team was composed of sensitive and talented kids who were kind of like the kids from "Fame''. Unfortunately for them, our team was kind of like the kids from Attica, and we were beating-up everyone in sight. This was a team that would later go on to win the New York City championships two out of the three years I was there, so, somehow, you knew that Music and Art would have its hands full. 

But, it was even worse than we had expected. We rolled over Music and Art unmercifully, scoring almost at will, and pouring it on in every possible way. It was always nice to see your team win, but this was starting to get embarrassing. Music and Art had a one-armed center who wasn't having a particularly good game. In my opinion, he was showing tremendous courage just by wearing a shirt with no sleeves, and trying to play basketball with only one arm. But, instead of respecting this guy's guttiness, our center held his only arm or hand whenever he could get away with it. As a result, he found himself constantly off-balance and reeling wildly out of control. From the press box it was a bit like watching someone trying to row a boat with only one oar. Apparently sports didn't always build such great character.

Another journalistic highpoint came when we were covering an away game at Boys High School which was located in a war zone in Brooklyn. Stu and I wanted to send proxies, but out of loyalty to the war correspondents who had risked their lives during World War II, we decided to cover the game ourselves.

 Terrified, and very much fearing for our lives, we made it to the gym and showed our press cards to a rather unfriendly-looking group of brothers who were guarding the entrance. Somehow we had the feeling that they would be rooting for Boys High. Even though we were the only two white guys in the vicinity, race wasn't really the most important factor. In truth, just being from Clinton, was probably enough to put us very much at risk. 

As I remember it, the dialogue went something like this:

-“What you want man?”

-“Er, gulp, Clinton News. Here to cover the game? Here's our, our press cards?” (I know that these are statements, but they came out sounding a lot like questions)

-“Your momma!”

-“Ahh. Excuse us I think we must, must have the wrong entrance.”

The highpoint in our journalistic careers probably came in  covering the city championships at Madison Square Garden. With some help from our trusty Clinton News press cards, Stu and I were allowed to sit at the press tables down at courtside, right next to the pros from The Post, The Times, and The News.

The Garden itself had its own mystique, filled with powerful images of basketball history and heroism. The old wooden floor had soaked-up the sweat and footprints of all the great ones, and it now radiated an awesome presence of its own.  And, for Stu and I, our fantasies were in overdrive. Maybe, we wondered, it really wasn't all that farfetched after all. Maybe we really could become like Clark Kent or Leonard Koppett. Maybe someday we too would be covering sports for a great metropolitan newspaper.

 But in our hearts we knew that this particular dream would be ending shortly. We viewed journalism as a highly-prized and glamorous field, but one in which jobs only went to the very cream of the crop. And, neither of us could picture ourselves in that kind of select company. So the time was ripe to come up with a more realistic back-up plan. Stu decided to become a lawyer, but, as for me, I had no idea what I really wanted to do with myself.

Sensing this lack of direction, my mother thought it would be a good idea to have me tested. So she hired a psychologist who came over to our apartment and administered some psychological tests. He gave me an interest test and some aptitude tests, but the one that I remember most vividly was the intelligence test. As I was taking it, I remember becoming completely intrigued with the whole procedure, from the stopwatch that he was using to the test itself. I was particularly fascinated by the jig saw pieces that you were supposed to make into the shape of a hand, and the cartoons that needed to be placed in the proper sequence for them to tell a story.

I thought it was absolutely amazing that he could tell all about a person in just a few hours simply by using these tools. I, on the other hand, didn't have the foggiest idea about why anyone did anything, even after I had talked with them for years! From what I could tell, this stuff was really pretty cool.                

When we went over the results from my interest test, I remember him telling me that my scores on the social service occupations were a bit low. Actually, my scores fell kind of half-way between Grizzly Adams and Sonny Liston. I was your basic hermit who could become belligerent if pushed. It wasn't, exactly, the profile of your classic "people person".  According to the psychologist, the results suggested that I might not want to rush into an occupation that involved a lot of personal contact with other people. It sounded good so far.

He also expressed some concern about my generally negative attitude towards others. People, he told me, weren't as bad or as untrustworthy as I thought they were, and he hoped that someday I could learn to give people more of a chance. I thought it was a nice, well-meaning sentiment, but I wondered where this guy had actually grown-up.

       Even though the test results didn't really matter all that much to me, it turned out to be a great idea to have me tested. The most important thing about the whole experience for me was that it had introduced me to one very interesting occupation. Someday, I thought, maybe I too could get a stopwatch, and find out what makes people tick. Now, of course, I realize that I would have been a lot better-off going into watch repair and trying to find out what made watches tick.

But, even with some of his questionable advice, the psychologist had still managed to hook me on his profession. When it came time to fill-in our intended occupations for our senior yearbooks I found myself filling-in: Psychologist. It had a nice ring to it. I wanted to understand the secrets of the human mind; I wanted to be all-knowing. And this would be the path for me to take.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rest of the Family

 

My Grandma Anna lived on the other side of the Bronx near Tremont Avenue. She lived with my father's sister Elsie, and her husband Murray. Aunt Elsie worked as a secretary for The Book of the Month Club and played a lot of Mah Jong. Uncle Murray was a shoe salesman at a fancy Manhattan store, who loved to get a tan and play Scrabble. They were both very fond of their nephew.

 Grandma Anna always seemed very old to me, and always talked like she was on her last legs. Every time we visited her, she would express tremendous amazement and gratitude that she had actually lived to see us one more time. After about twenty or thirty years of this, I finally began to take it with a grain of salt. It was, after all, a pretty long time to be lingering at death's door. Constantly defying her own actuarial predictions, she, actually, managed to hang-on for another forty years or so. And, not only did she live through years of bonus visits with me, but, eventually, I even brought my own children to visit with her as well.

It may have been a long time to linger at death's door, but Grandma Anna could still be pretty convincing. If I was debating whether or not I should pay her a visit, I'd always picture her as postponing her own death so we could see each other one more time.

Once, before we got married, Marianne and I were trying to decide if we should go over there for a visit. It was during a record-setting cold snap, and the wind-chill factor must have been horrifying. People were being warned to stay home, if at all possible, for their own safety. But, after thinking it through, we decided that we had better not risk staying home. We didn't know how many more visits would be possible, and the subsequent guilt might be too much for us to bear. As we pulled-up to her apartment building we were stunned to see Grandma Anna venturing-out into the bitter cold on her way to a card game. She was startled to see us.

Grandma Anna spent her final years in an old age home in the Bronx. It was considered to be a "nice" home, as far as homes were concerned, but we found it to be a pretty depressing place to visit. Many of the elderly residents just seemed to be marking-time until their inevitable end. And, there always seemed to be constant reminders that you were moving closer to the finish line. Any significant decline in their physical or mental faculties might relocate them to a new floor in the building, where they could be cared for properly. Eventually they'd make it up to the top floor where they would die, and open-up a bed for someone new. It was like a game musical chairs, except that for each new round they'd remove a player instead of a chair.

It was very hard to believe that this stage of life was positive or meaningful in any possible way. It was hard to feel good about it. The whole process of aging and death seemed like a painful and rather absurd conclusion to one's life, and if this was the grand finale, it made life even more questionable than ever. To cap it off, the whole thing also seemed to place a tremendous financial and emotional burden on the children, and a lot of the children were senior citizens themselves at that point.

For Grandma Anna, the quality of her life had deteriorated to such an extent that living had become a curse. Of course, she had been expressing that opinion for the past forty years, but now she seemed to mean it more than usual. And who was to say that she wasn't right?

Ironically, she lived to the age of ninety nine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Long Branch